Chiang Mai for Nomads & Expats: How To Settle In, Connect and Get Local

Chiang Mai is the most popular city for digital nomads in Southeast Asia, and I have many friends who live there. All of them love the city; they rave about its amenities, food options, and natural beauty. I’m as big a fan as they are, and I’ve spent over six months of my life there in total.

But almost all the Chiang Mai expats I know have voiced a similar complaint about life in the Northern Thai town: “there’s not enough to do on weekends.” They find it hard to make friends there, both with fellow expats and with locals. Even if they can manage it, they have trouble coming up with local activities that are inexpensive but engaging.

The trendy district of Nimman – the focal point for many new arrivals in Chiang Mai (DepositPhotos/sirichaiDeposit)

I’ve previously written a complete tourist guide to Chiang Mai with tips for a shorter stay. My fellow Chiang Mai lover, Claire Mykura, also published a guide about “21 Things to do In and Around Chiang Mai” that I fully endorse, and countless other sites have published expat guides to Chiang Mai that cover the best cafes, restaurants, and gyms there.

So instead of focusing on things to do in Chiang Mai, this guide will focus more on how expats can find friends and spend their weekends in ways that will lead to a fulfilling social life.

Tips for making Thai friends in Chiang Mai

It’s important to understand that when it comes to making friends, Thailand’s culture is different than most Western countries. It can be frustrating for a Westerner trying to make Thai friends if you ignore these differences, so make sure to keep the following in mind.

All of these tips are based either on what I’ve heard from friends living in Chiang Mai (both expats and locals) or on thorough research about the area.

Thais are more reserved with Friendships

Firstly, Thais are a bit harder to break the ice with than Westerners. Northern Thailand in particular has a strong culture of forming strong friendships with family members and childhood acquaintances, and they’re a bit more reluctant to make new adult friends. You might need to be a bit more outgoing than you’d expect, but not so much so that you seem overbearing.

The good news is that, once you do break the ice, Chiang Mai locals are extremely warm and welcoming.  

You need to learn a little Thai

Learning just a little bit of Thai language can go a long way when it comes to making friends in Chiang Mai. Even for Thai people who speak English fluently, it’s more relaxing to speak Thai, and it’s much easier to break the ice with a native Thai-speaker if you meet them at their level linguistically.

In a lot of huge cities nearby like Bangkok, Ho Chi Minh City, and Kuala Lumpur, English is practically a second language to a lot of young people so they don’t mind using it exclusively for friendly hangouts. Chiang Mai has more of a small town mentality and is not like that.

My friend who lives in Chiang Mai told me he went years without making a single local friend, but he made several within a few weeks of starting his Thai language classes at Chiang Mai’s CMU.

Embrace Thai culture

Chiang Mai has a strong cultural heritage, so most locals only open up to people who are expressing a sincere interest in cultural activities. That could mean speaking Thai, especially about local “way of life” topics like Buddhism, Thai sports teams, or even shopping at the local markets. It could also mean engaging in activities that interact with the culture, like Muay Thai or Thai-style dance classes.

Smile a lot

Thailand is known as “The Land of Smiles” for a reason; academic studies like this one and this one report that smiles are even more important signifiers of approachability and openness to friendship in Thailand than in most cultures. So I’d recommend literally getting in front of a mirror and practicing a resting smile that you can wear when trying to make friends.

(DepositPhotos/501room)

Eat together, not individually

If you’re ever eating a meal with Thai people who you’d like to befriend, order and eat your food together, not separately. In the west, this communal style of dishing out foods from the same serving platters is sometimes known as “family style.”

But in Southeast Asia, and especially in a socially conservative city like Chiang Mai, it also applies to friend groups and is a shortcut to forming a stronger bond with people.

Don’t let age deter you

Friendships between expats and locals are not constrained by age gaps in Southeast Asia. I know lots of 50+ expats who are platonic friends with people in their 20s, and they will hang out with people in their 30s and 40s in the same friend group. So don’t be nervous to make friends with locals much younger or much older with you as long as the spark is there.

This is especially important to remember in Chiang Mai, since I’ve heard a lot that the older generation is sadly almost impossible to make friends with. They tend to be locked into their existing friend group and way of life, and they don’t budge most of the time.

I’ve been told that the best area to make friends in Chiang Mai is Nimman Road and the surrounding neighborhood, which has a lot of young professionals and university students hanging out around it because it’s near Chiang Mai University. People around there are reportedly more open to making friends since they’re younger and so are more open-minded and have more free time.

Stay positive

Thais value harmony in social situations, according to yet more studies like this one and this one. So when you’re interacting with people in Chiang Mai, don’t resort to the critical speech or communal shit-talking that are large parts of many friendly social interactions in the West. Instead, try to maintain a sunny outlook on your surroundings at all times.

Try to match their budget

Perceived financial hierarchy has a bigger role in Thai friendships than many other cultures, so it’s always best to try to match your spending to the approximate spending of those you’re spending time with.

Also, try to suggest places to hang out that won’t exceed their budget – this is one of the reasons I listed the average price for most places in this guide’s “what to do with friends in Chiang Mai” section.

(DepositPhotos/surachetsh)

Meeting people in Chiang Mai: a step-by-step guide

Forming friendships is highly personal and can happen anywhere at any time. In other words, it can’t be boiled down to a step-by-step process. That being said, a ton of expats in Chiang Mai struggle to make long-lasting friendships there, whether with locals or other expats.

So, in this section, I’m going to completely disregard my own words and try to set forth a step-by-step guide based on successful friend-making experiences of myself and other expats.

Step 1: use facebook groups

Whereas Facebook has become a bit outdated in the pop culture ethos of many Western countries in the past decade, its popularity as a social tool for people of all ages never waned in Southeast Asia. In fact, Facebook groups are by far the easiest way to find group meetups and other social activities in Chiang Mai. Simply keep these tips in mind:

Look for groups that match your interests

It’s much easier to form deep bonds with people who have the same interests as you. You’re likely to make some surface-level friendships if you go to more general interest groups like language exchanges, but I’ve found that friendships formed at more niche groups that fit your interests more tightly have more room to grow and are more likely to last.

A few examples of niche groups you might search for are board game clubs, meetings for a specific sport, book clubs, or anything that delves into a specific hobby. You can find these on Chiang Mai Digital Nomads, Digital Nomads Thailand, and Thailand Expats and Digital Nomads.

Post often

Once you join Facebook groups, stay active. Post often, because seeing that you’re passionate about one of their hobbies makes people more comfortable with you.

RSVP for in-person events or organize your own

Online interactions are a good way to find potential friends, but in-person events are where the real bonds are formed. Hopefully, some of the niche groups you join will organize in-person events occasionally.

If none of them do, it’s easy to organize your own by choosing a date, time, and venue – I’ll suggest some popular Chiang Mai meeting spots in the next section. You may be surprised how many people are interested in an in-person event once you post about it.

Post about events before you go

Even after you respond that you’re going to a certain event, post publicly that you’re going and introduce yourself. Others will hopefully comment on your post to say hi, and it will make an in-person intro at the event easier since you have already had an exchange.

Step 2: invite a group to meals or niche events

Once you’re at the event, identify a group of people you think could be good friends and invite them to hang out on another date. Thais are often more comfortable spending time in groups of friends rather than one-on-one, which is a “friend-making mistake” I think a lot of Western expats in Thailand make.

Ideally, you can invite the group to an activity they have all demonstrated interest in. Some examples might include a specific sports event (e.g. a Muay Thai match) or a concert.

If you can’t think of an activity, a shared meal is always a good bet. Traditional Thai barbecue meals are my go-to, since they demonstrate you’re interested in Thai culture and the meals have a communal feel perfect for deepening friendships. A few specific locations with friendly atmospheres are included in the next section.

Step 3: at the event, get to know each other

This is often the toughest part since, as I mentioned, it can be hard to get Thai people to open up. Try to employ the tips I went over in the previous section and you should be fine, though.

Start off with general conversation points about family, work, etc. Try to gradually steep the conversation toward more personal topics like religious beliefs and personal aspirations.

Step 4: wait for an invite

At this point, it’s likely you’ll receive an invite to some kind of event. A family dinner is the holy grail in terms of next steps for a successful friendship, but another public meal with a group of friends is great too. Obviously, you should accept if you are interested in pursuing the friendship.

If you don’t get an invite, it doesn’t mean the person does not want to be your friend; some people are just shyer than others. In this case, it’s a good idea to take the initiative and say you’d be interested in getting together again. You might even want to set a time and date for another meeting then and there, or you might want to follow up later.

What to do with friends in Chiang Mai

I talked to some Chiang Mai locals and expats to put together a list of their favorite friendly hangout spots.

Restaurants

For a relaxed evening, Phaploen Market Food Court is my favorite place to go with friends in Chiang Mai. The open-air food court has a chilled-out atmosphere, with soft lighting, hay bales to sit on, and decorated food trucks contributing to the vibe. It also has live music most nights, which is a nice addition.

For a slightly livelier atmosphere, go out for Thai BBQ, which is my favorite hangout activity with new acquaintances in Chiang Mai since it’s a great way to immerse yourself in the culture and has just the right vibes. Try to go as local as possible, though, especially when trying to befriend locals. Some of the best local joints I’ve been recommended are:

• “แซ่บเวอร์” หนอนหมูปิ้ง
• Crazy BBQ
• ร้านจิ๋วหม่าล่า2บาท​酒麻辣
• ควันจุ๊งจุ๊ง หมาล่า สาขารวมโชค

(DepositPhotos/MazurTravel)

I should note that BBQ places in Chiang Mai tend to close for a few weeks at a time quite often for some reason, so it’s best to call before going to the place.

Also, I’m not going to lie: alcohol really helps to form a friendly bond more quickly. Many student aged Thais do not drink, but you should definitely order a few rounds of beers if the people you’re with are not opposed.

Relaxation

Looper Swimming Pool and Studio is my favorite place to relax with friends in Chiang Mai. The outdoor pool is spacious, well-maintained, and has plenty of loungers with cafe service. It’s a super-popular hangout for expats and English-speaking locals, too, so it’s a good place to meet people in-person even if you’re not coming from a Facebook group.

That’s not even to mention the many dance, yoga, and pilates classes at Looper, which are great friendship activities as well. Swimming pool admission is 250 baht and the classes are inexpensive.

For a very different form of relaxation, Game Tree Cafe is great. Board games aren’t everyone’s cup of tea, but I’ve found they’re great for strengthening cross-cultural friendships since strategy and friendly competition transcend language and culture. Game Tree’s staff are bilingual, too, so they can explain games in English or Thai.

Plus, Game Tree hosts meet-ups nearly every night for popular games like Settlers of Catan and chess, so it’s a good way to meet people. Game Tree is a good place to go with potential friends who have limited budgets, since you only need to buy a soft drink to play and the cost is only 40-50 baht.

Sports venues

If the friend group you’re hanging out with is full of active people, try inviting them to a local sporting event. It’s a good way to demonstrate interest in Thai culture while bonding over a shared interest. Some examples include:

• A Muay Thai match at Thapae Boxing Stadium, Kalare Boxing Stadium, or Loi Kroh Boxing Stadium. Tickets can ordinarily be booked through the stadium’s website but are always available at the door too in my experience. Prices are 600 baht for general admission or 1000 baht for ringside seats.
• A football match (aka soccer game). Chiang Mai has a few pro football teams that play in Thailand’s T2 league. The matches, most of which are at 700th Anniversary Stadium or the University Stadium, are lively and have a great atmosphere, and tickets only cost about 120 baht online or at the entrance.
• The Score Sports Bar is a good place to enjoy televised sports. I used to love sports bars when I lived in the US and haven’t found many I enjoy during my decade in Southeast Asia, but The Score is one of the few.

Cafes

Chiang Mai has a ton of nice cafes, but not many of them have a lively atmosphere that’s more conducive to working on a laptop than hanging out with a friend group. Several that feel appropriate for that purpose are:

• No. 39 Cafe. Lively atmosphere, beautiful outdoor seating plus indoor options, and live music or DJs on a schedule. It’s my favorite cafe to hang out with friends in Chiang Mai, but the only drawback is that it closes at 5 PM.
• Carp Cafe. The round booths in this cafe are submerged under the surface of a koi pond. The seating is amazing, and the drinks are good too. It has a large Japanese food menu, but the food is honestly not great and is definitely overpriced. The cafe is open until 9 PM.
• Beer Lab. Not exactly a cafe, but this chilled-out beer garden is definitely closer to a cafe atmosphere than that of a bar. It also has about a dozen local and international craft beers on tap, so it’s a good way to bring cultures together. As I said, drinking alcohol together is almost like a cheat code to building a friendship quickly in Thai culture, so come here if all parties are down to throw back a few. The Beer Lab is open until midnight.

Bars

Chiang Mai has an incredible nightlife scene, and it’s been covered to death in thousands of other articles online. Some of the best bars are Zoe in Yellow, Surr Bar, and MAI Sky Bar, but I’ll let you do your own research on them since there’s so much out there already.

One thing I will say is that bars aren’t generally the best choice for solidifying friendships with Thai people when you’ve just met them. Southeast Asian cultures value relaxation during leisure time, and bars aren’t the best in that regard. Of course, it depends on the personality of the people you’re getting to know.

Above all, though, remember that people are essentially the same everywhere. The superficialities like small-talk and other methods of “breaking the ice” may be different in Chiang Mai, but they’re only surface-level.